Guest Blog 2: “…it was his problem, not mine, but it didn’t make me feel any less humiliated.”

By Navila Rahman

When I first started studying law, I was incredibly enthusiastic and optimistic about how I was going to change the world (like every other first year right) and how, especially as a female, I could use the law to educate myself, and teach others, how to speak out and not be silent if their rights have been compromised.

Having now spent 3 years studying, I have very much come to realise that it is not that easy. It is not just a matter of knowing whether a certain action is legal or not, or being unsure of whether the action should be seen as a problem, but rather there is an issue with the number of social barriers that arise when it comes to speaking out about having your rights violated as a female.

I remember a while back, I was sitting on the bus holding my law textbooks and my skirt had ridden up a little bit. There was an elderly gentleman sitting next to me, who looked down and said “honey, you should be setting an example for people your age”. I remember feeling extremely embarrassed for the rest of the bus ride, even though I had no need to, and I couldn’t muster up the courage to say anything in response. I know that I did nothing wrong and that it was his problem, not mine, but it didn’t make me feel any less humiliated.

But what could I have done? Who would I have gone to? Were people going to judge me if I spoke up? Would they say it was not a big deal, or that he was right? This is probably when it first hit me, although it now to me it seems like a relatively minor experience in comparison to what other women face, that seeking help when you feel like your rights have been abrogated is not that easy. And I always thought I was the one with the power, that the education that I was receiving would give me the hand to help others with similar concerns. There are always avenues for help, but knowing where to go and what to do is the first and hardest step.